Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
