blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
