They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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