Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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