I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
