I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
