First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
