I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize