I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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