My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
