Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize