I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
