Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
