I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
