If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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