I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
