And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So apparently I’m into choking now
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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