apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
