I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
