Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
