Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
