she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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