So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My life is pants optional.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
