Whod you bang
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
