I CAN MOONWALK!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
