did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize