Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The Olympian is in my bed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
