Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
