she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
