the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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