uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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