Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
