Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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