wat bout pragnant strippers??
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize