I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
