You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
