He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
