yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
