What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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