I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize