Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we're so committed to being not committed
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
