I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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