I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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