I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
