there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
