you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
