when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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