So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
