You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
