wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
