Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
