just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
