okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
