my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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