And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
