Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
