She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have fence marks all over my body
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I would fuck him just for his dog
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
