Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
