yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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