no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
