Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
