Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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