update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
