You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
