I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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