just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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