What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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