My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
