I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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