that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
