They should really pass out barf bags in church
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
