you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
