ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
