Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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