Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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