I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
